Arrrrrgggghhhhhhh!

Would it be terrible to say that i dislike my children??? I will say 'at the moment' in the hope that they and things will improve. The thing is that i am just not coping with them not going to bed. Last week they had 3 nights in a row where they were asleep by 8/8:15pm and it was absolute bliss. So, from that i was thinking (rather naively i can now say) that the worst was over and we'd get back to having some evening to speak of... and we may even (here's a radical thought) get to spend some time together. As a couple. But tonight i could see it in their eyes, hear it in their voices, and then obviously feel it in my heart that they were going to play up. And they did. And i lost it, shouted and made threats, and even used the naughty step. And i don't like myself either. I feel so horrible that i don't even feel like using what's left of the evening to do any of the things that i was desperate to do. How ridiculous is that?